Can You Really Forgive If You Can’t Forget?

Forgiveness, a small word with a big meaning. Can people really forgive or it is just a means of carrying on with life and reducing the bitterness. I remember Angelina Jolie’s movie Changeling, which is based on a true incident, where she is looking for her son who disappears one fine day. On being confronted with the man who killed her son, she finally forgives him for killing her son. Personally, I feel it’s very difficult forgiving a person for an insult, leave alone killing your own child. For the past few days I have been watching the news on the tele. There are bereaved families from the 26/11 attack talking about what must be the apt punishment for Ajamal Qasab, the only terrorist to be caught alive. None of them said, we forgive him and he should be let off cheap.

So is forgiveness a myth. Do people really forgive? I really don’t think so. Let us get real. We live in a materialistic world and we have really low tolerance levels. We are an angry and go-getting generation. We love what we have and yearn for what we don’t. So who are we fooling when we say that we can forgive somebody who has even tried to disturb the world we live in. I call it ignoring more than forgiving or merely accepting our fate, saying to ourselves that it was meant to be. Leave the tragedies alone, in our day to day lives we feel bitter about the smallest of issues. Some feel unhappy about their parents not supporting them, others feel upset that their children don’t listen, some complain about being spoken to a certain way by their boss, some about not being able fight injustice. We all are upset about something, bitter about what has happened with us. So what is the way out when you are unable to forgive.

My principles on this issue are very simple. Don’t forgive and don’t forget, just ignore what gives you displeasure and move on with life. Life is too short to be bitter about anything. Don’t sulk and waste time on something which cannot be changed. Bad things happen to good people too. This is a fact and the biggest truth in my own life. I know it is easier said than done. But remember you call for good things in life, they will come to you. Call for all the old and ugly memories and they will keep recurring in your life. So move on. Give a damn! Think of what is important to you and what gives you happiness. Focus on that. We are not martyrs. We are materialistic and selfish beings and our life and happiness is of utmost importance. Do only what is doable. Don’t try and be jack of all trades. You can’t keep everyone happy. Once you start focusing on what is important to you, you start being happy and words like forgiving and forgetting no longer hold importance. So go on and search for own bliss….paint, play, read, travel, spend time with your loved ones, shop, decorate your home…do whatever gives you happiness…give all the negative influences a royal kick.

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